ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize