i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
im on a boat
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