the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
