i jhust puked up my retainher.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
