why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
