Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
