This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
