so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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