i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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