so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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