Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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