Me too!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
