Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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