I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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