I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
