Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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