Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
