she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you didnt know i had herpes?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
