well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
