I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it because I queefed?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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