you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drake has all the answers
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
