Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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