what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
