So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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