Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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