At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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