I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
