Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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