I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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