fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
