He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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