Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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