Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
