so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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