Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
