belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Someone came in the potted fern
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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