Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
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Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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