WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
