that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
