Are we in a gay sports bar?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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