Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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