It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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