i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
