I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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