She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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