No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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