Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize