Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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