The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize