Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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