We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
