Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize