You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize