ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
