I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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