Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
