She is in my trunk
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
