life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
