she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize