I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
