like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize