i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Terrible idea I love it
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
