Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
