If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
