I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
