I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
...so i touched it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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