oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
